I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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