She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I'm at about main and main street
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
