It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
