He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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