I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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