Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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