i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
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