You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Randomize
