she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
