I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
We are two peas in an std pod
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
How naked do you want me to be?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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