Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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