You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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