Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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