lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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