FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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