1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
