How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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