just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I have tasted many bathrooms
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
