You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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