24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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