check it out our google latitudes are spooning
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
