Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
