If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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