he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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