I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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