So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
