If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
