It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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