no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
