I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
you have to choose: penises or morals?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
