I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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