if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
