I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
