YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
