I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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