This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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