In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
