i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
We need to get me chipped asap
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize