So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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