Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
How does one acquire holy water?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize