I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
