there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
