do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
