in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
