Just cropdusted the office
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
