At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
What a dumb baby whore.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
