If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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