it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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