Don't make out with my wife yet
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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