Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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