when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
two words...techno handjob
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
