Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
