talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
