quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
