I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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