Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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