I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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