I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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