so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
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