You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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