Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize
