i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Randomize
