thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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