Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
being pregnant is like rehab
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
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